Interact Journal Integrative Ideas for the Process-Oriented Psychotherapist

Categories Supervision Dialogs

On what to tell her

She wants to know whether to leave her partner or not. I don’t know what to tell her.

You can tell her whatever you like, as long as you don’t have an opinion. That way, whatever you tell her will be an intervention, not an intrusion.

Whatever you say first, invite her response. “Let me think. Hmmn. Definitely leave your partner. In fact, you should probably not go home tonight. Don’t bother saying anything, either. Just check into a hotel. You can get your things later. What’s your response to that?”

Then tell her the opposite and invite her response.

“On second thought, you should stick with your partner. You will probably never find anybody else better, anyway. What’s your response to that?”

Hold the perception that whatever she says and the opposite of what she says, are both true.

When she says she wants to leave him, wonder why she’s still with him and say, “And now speak with the voice of the part of you that Doesn’t want to leave him.”

Sometimes the “opposite” or polarity isn’t what you think it is. In this case, the polarity might not be that she doesn’t want to leave her partner, but instead that she wants her partner to do the leaving. Y’never know.

“And now speak with the voice of the part of you who is the opposite (has another point of view, disagrees with that . . .)” ¯

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