Q: Both a family and two separate individuals generally refuse or resist my ideas for enactments. What do I do then?
A: Whether your intervention is to ask a question, suggest an enactment, validate or reframe a point of view, interpret behavior, set up a structure, wonder about something, join with empathy, or simply sit there watching, attend to and work with the response to whatever your intervention is.

Psychotherapeutic resolution of neurotic issues is a continuing mystery to us all. It unfolds over the lifetime of the human organism with or without the assistance or interference of psychotherapists. We all have our theories and opinions about how human beings work through their traumas and resolve their existential and developmental conflicts. But the truth is, none of us knows for sure. We can only flounder about, call on our fairies, paraphrase other theorists, and speculate in metaphors as we attempt to interpret the intrapersonal experiences of ourselves and others.

Q: Why would you accelerate a process like that? In hopes that something will happen?
A: This is where the Rogerian part of my personal psychotheory shows up. Start with the idea that no matter what an organism is doing, it is always engaged in behavior that is deemed by the psyche either to be protective or to invite movement toward the resolution of its unresolved issues. And here’s the Gestalt part: When the organism does what it is doing to the point where that process is done enough, the organism will be done doing whatever it has been doing and can get on with doing something else.

Q: All they do in session is tattle on each other. Also, none of them is able to admit to being angry or upset about anything or with anybody. So what’s a way to work with this family?
A: You already see their process. Now create interventions that use their process.

Q: You’re always saying, don’t listen to the content. How can one not?
A: When you first start driving a car, if you steadfastly focus your gaze close to the car, you will steer crookedly down the road and not see anything but what is directly in front of you. Until, that is, you crash into something because you weren’t able to anticipate what was coming.

Sally, a good little girl, is playing in the indoor sandbox. She is 5 years old and very, very mad at her mother. Her mother is standing right over there, rummaging around in that closet.

Q: Does psychotherapy always need a witness? With high motivation, can’t all this emotional work be done at home?
A: Most of us experience many enlightening moments from time to time throughout our lives. And although we integrate what we learn into our default behavior repertoire, we usually die long before we complete all our unresolved childhood issues, let alone the existential or traumatic ones that befall us as adults.

Q: Three different times last week I found myself disconnected from my work. Essentially, I wasn’t really in the room.
A: I’m glad you are aware of that. Were you aware in the session or did you figure it out afterward?

Q: How do you respond to a client’s general questionings?
A: Anyway you want to: be serious, get creative, lie, tell the truth. Keep putting the attention back on the person and work with the responses.

Q: She wants me to help her break through her denial. What exactly is denial?

A: Denial is a refusal to admit or recognize an occurrence or possibility. I don’t know about you, but denial is the preferred state for many of us (not me, of course) when we don’t want to deal with reality, our terror, or the possibility of change. To create an enactment, think reflexively.